Doki Doki IKEA trip
by Michael McDoesn'texist
Summary: The four girls travel to IKEA for some furniture. That's what happens, really.


**Once more I venture into exotic territory before I return to familiar ground.**

* * *

Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri and Monika decided to go to IKEA. They wanted to buy a new cupboard to store the dead bodies in along with Yuri's torture/rape novels. Once they got inside Sayori twirled around gleefully.

"Oh, how fun it is to go on a small adventure with the girls!" She squealed and in her enthusiasm, she knocked over a lamp which started a chain reaction, resulting in the collapse of the entire left wing of the building. A black man was killed in the progress, but all the Asians got out ok, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

"Sayori you cunt!" Natsuki snapped.

"Yes Sayori you always do these kind of things!" Yuri added.

"Honestly go home and kys or something!" Monika suggested.

"Lol ok." Sayori said and so it happened.

* * *

 ***deleting Sayori-file***

* * *

Natsuki, Yuri and Monika decided to go to IKEA. They wanted to buy a new cupboard to store all their acid in, along with Natsuki's demon/slasher villain hentai. Once they got inside, they walked straight to the cupboards and had a look around.

"This one's cute!" Natsuki said.

"That's an Iron Maiden Natsuki!" Monika said.

"So? Perfect for when our newest member gets baked again and we have to hide him from a teacher!" Natsuki explained. Yuri thought it was quite a good idea.

"But how will we know if the spikes are sharp enough?" She asked.

"I don't fucking know, wanna jump in and find out?" Monika asked.

"Sure!" Yuri said and jumped inside. But before Monika could close the coffin, Natsuki OD'd on all the sugar from the cupcakes she ate for breakfast and she dropped DED onto the floor.

"Hey! It was my turn!" Yuri whined.

* * *

 ***deleting Natsuki-file***

* * *

Yuri and Monika decided to go to IKEA. They wanted to buy a new cupboard to store all the rat poison Yuri usually added to her tea, along with Monika's yaoi poems. Once they got inside, they walked straight to the cupboards and had a look around.

"I think this one looks quite beautiful!" Yuri said and she pointed at a dark, black cupboard with a very grim tone surrounding it. Monika examined it and tilted her head a little.

"Somehow this cupboard looks very familiar..." she said. Yuri looked at the cupboard more closely.

"Yeah, now that you mention it... It kinda looks like that one cabin from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. The one Draco "dank memes" Malfoy uses to get his Death-eater pals inside Hogwarts."

Yuri looked at Monika.

"Wouldn't it be a stupid, unrealistic, weird and overall crazy thing if we used Draco's spell and suddenly someone comes out and kills me? Wouldn't that fit right into a shitpost-story?" She giggled.

"Lol yeah. I mean let me try: _Harmonia Nectare Passus!_ " Monika chanted.

And then Bellatrix jumped out of the cupboard and stabbed Yuri between her TITS! She then ran away, cackling like a madwoman.

"Well shit..." Monika said.

* * *

 ***deleting Yuri-file***

* * *

Monika was in a dark room, looking straight at the writer.

"What the fuck was all this about Michael? Shouldn't you just ruin one thing for fanfic-readers instead of multiple?"

 **"Well Monika,"** I said

 **"As a shitposter, it is my unwritten duty..."**

"Actually I don't care. I was just wondering why nobody has been raped yet. I mean you wrote a story based on a weeby game which is based around one guy trying to get inside the panties of three different girls. It just seemed so... weird that you didn't include any rape in this story."

 **"Well, element of surprise you know. Plus, rape really isn't that funny. It is awful and people need to be severely punished for it."**

"Splendid! Thank you for having this conversation with me, it has reassured me of the quality of your writing!" Monika said with a smile.

* * *

 ***reseting story***

* * *

Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri and Monika decided to go to IKEA. They wanted to buy a new cupboard to store all the chocolate they purposefully fed to puppies along with Sayori's Batman comics. Once they got inside Sayori twirled around gleefully.

"Oh, how fun it is to go on a small adventure with the girls!" She squealed. The other girls smiled and Yuri said:

"Yes, it is quite nice to go out with just the four of us again!"

"Agreed!" Natsuki said and a rainbow appeared above her head.

"Let's find an adorably kawaii cupboard for our classroom!" Monika said.

They spent the next two hours looking around, chatting, laughing and overall having a great time. Eventually they found the perfect cupboard and purchased it. But first they stopped by the restaurant for more chatting, with some drinks and delicious Swedish meatballs on the side. They left the building in a very merry mood and spent the rest of their afternoon building the cupboard. It was the best day of their lives.

AND THEN Ajay and Lúcio jumped in and raped them for five hours straight.

* * *

 **topkek**

* * *

"MICHAEL YOU CHEEKY BASTARD!"


End file.
